about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
