Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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