Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
