you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
