She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
