I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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