Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
