Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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