I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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