Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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