I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry about my life...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
