Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
