Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
