Christians are straight up FREAKS
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
