I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize