i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
