a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
