so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
