Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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