shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
