Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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