i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.