we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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