Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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