we made out on top of his cat.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
