that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
