there's paper in my vomit.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
