ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
