office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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