theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
