I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
