I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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