Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
