My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
