So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
