so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
