In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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