its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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