i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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