this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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