8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ttyl tear gas
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
