it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
