Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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