I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
