I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
