honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
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Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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