you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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