I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
