No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
