if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
