i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
