Don't you send me to vm
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
