I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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