You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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