We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
