You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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