Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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