Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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