My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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