Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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