is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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