your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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