You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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